Monday, July 03, 2006

Jaime's Den - When I wish upon a star ......

It’s been so quiet in the Bae Kingdom as we are all awaiting news of our great king, let’s talk about (who else but) HIM!

I never have so many wishes in my life until now …...

1. how I wish to be born a Korean,

2. how I wish to be xx years younger (girls, please refrain from filling out some astronomical number here),

3. how I wish to have the face and body of Angelina Jolie (minus those lips!) with the brain of Condolezza Rice and the heart of Mother Teresa worthy of our dear Yong Joon (oh, you don’t like AJ and CR? ….. how about just fill in your own name, hehe),

4. and how I EVEN wish to be just a bar of Yong Joon’s favourite fragrant soap for him to grip on tightly and rub all over his "smoothie" skin from head to toe ….. (umm..….on second thought, knowing how many showers that hygienic handsome hunk takes in a day, it’d better be a SUPER GIGANTIC bar, or else I’ll be reduced to bubbles and suds in TWO takes!)

Nobody disputes that our handsome prince is one of the most eligible bachelor in the world. Between his tight work schedule and limited social circle, he revealed that he has no opportunity to meet anyone. Maybe it’s the "maternal instincts" in me, whenever I saw Yong Joon in an interview with a TV host or a female model in a CF, I would size up the poor girl and ZOOM in on his reaction to her. Occasionally I would exclaim "Now, that’s a sweetie! Don’t be shy my prince, go go go!", BUT if I didn’t think she’s up to par, I would protest "Umm, she’s not a good wife material. Hey lady, don’t lean too close to my prince please!" (Now, I bet even Yong Joon’s mama is not that judgemental, bad bad Jaime!).

I always picture what kind of a "perfect" husband Yong Joon will make to his ultimately extremely unbelievably lucky wife. I read in a Japanese TV interview that he hopes he still has the urge, at 40 years old, to say "I love you" to his wife standing at the washing machine. Umm.… let me see, my dear handsome prince : if a woman marries a guy who can afford a "stylist" and "an ASSISTANT to the stylist" and she STILL has to figure out how to work that #&*@~$% washing machine, I see there are only 2 options waiting for you that night : silent treatment or the couch! (Of course, I’m joking! Are you kidding me? Whoever’s lucky enough to marry you should do ALL your laundry, plus OURS too! After all, we are family, right?)

Some wise guys/gals once said that "getting married is like buying a computer : as soon as you paid and bring it home, they’re bound to come out with a newer and better model". For those lucky sisters who are still looking for a computer, well, you know which highest model to shoot for. For those of us who have already made our purchase, DON’T PANIC, no need to drop your current model and run off to Korea for an upgrade (although that sounds rather tempting!). Remember that "mint conditioned" computer when we said "I do" and signed on the dotted line? .…. No? Not anymore? ….. Ok then, NOW PANIC!

Dear sisters, allow me to offer you some compensation – how about wishing for some upgrades to your current "el computador"?

1. Bigger memory – you wish they can remember your birthday, wedding day, first stroll under moonlight, sunlight, traffic light and even flashlight (now, even I don’t know how that’s possible?). But …. most important, you wish they can REMEMBER to put the toilet seat DOWN!

2. More interactive – plain yes and no or maybe are just not acceptable answers to you, you want details, descriptions, explanations and EVEN punctuations. And no, you do not wish to talk at 30 words/second during commercial breaks ONLY!

3. Faster response time – when you ask them how you look in a new dress, you wish they won’t agonize like having to answer a "How to solve the world’s hunger?" problem before blurting out a lame excuse like "honey, I GOT to go to the bathroom QUICK!", then lock themselves in there for 2 hours!

Meanwhile, our men are also busy working on the "Santa’s list" for their "la computadora" :

1. User friendly interface – they do not dare to attempt rationalizing the complex internal logic of their computadora. They just wish to see more guy-friendly language that only their brains can comprehend like "hey dude" in lieu of "how are you", "we’re cool" in place of "everything is fine" and "burp" instead of "I agree".

2. Advanced warning system – they desperately wish for all the hints, warnings and help messages so they can prepare to respond ahead of time before their computadora explode in hysterical shrieks. Lord knows, they are still suffering from eardrum damage and spinal cord injury (from countless nights on the couch) during their last disaster recovery.

3. Permanent delete capability – when they ship their errors to the trash bin, they definitely 1000% mean to erase it forever from the face of the earth. They wish their computadora will not retrieve those mistakes and repeat it 99 times in all their future arguments.

Now that I have managed to offend both sexes, I’d better say goodnight and turn off my old reliable computer. Wish DO come true, you know – if you care to DREAM ……

This is a hilarious vod about the infatuation of some Japanese housewives on Yonsama and the reaction from one "poor" husband. Guarantee you’ll have a good laugh, please enjoy :



mrs a said...

You crack me up Jaime! i LOVE IT! When ever I get down just need to pick up one of your writing and can't help but laughing out loud!

marissa said...

Another entertaining piece from our dear Jaime. Thanks for giving her a space in your blog happieh.

jaime said...

Dear h,

I know I've been saying this many times, but I think you know I really mean it. You are so kind to give me a corner of your own BYJ world to express my silly thoughts. This is another fine example of our BYJ family doing extraordinary things for each other. Thanks again!

love .... jaime

HeippieH said...

mrs a, just saw your new writing. I love it.

jaime said...

Dear mrs a and marissa,

Thanks for reading! Glad you enjoy it. I love making other sisters happy and laugh (especially during this difficult time when Quilt is down and BYJ has no news).

love ... jaime

HeippieH said...

Dear marrisa, feel free to chat with Jaime here. It's her writings, I am just feeling so honored to share some laughters with you gals. She is so cute, isn't she. We are so lucky to have caught her, and we never know what's next in her mind :-) Life is so good!

HeippieH said...

Jaime, Jaime, Jaime, bless your heart! but don't thank me any more, i am ashamed now. you did all the work, i just took the credit. do thing about your own blog, eh? I am looking forward to it ... (not that i am giving you pressure, mrs a started hers ...)

bb said...

yea, thanks jaime, and thanks H :)

mrs a said...

PS Instead of Angelina Jolie (know what you mean about those lips) I would like to look like Annette Bening as wuri YongJoon said he liked her. She is an American actress and also my husband likes her alot to. Personally she doesn't do anything for me but, to each their own.

What a combo that would be! Bening looks, Condi's brains and Mother Teresa heart. I bet we could get him to notice then.

HeippieH said...

mrs a, nice to know about YJ's favorite actress from you. I only remember he liked Robert Deniro. I like him too. From translating your essay, I found you liked him too. I startet to get used to finding common taste among our fellow YJ fans.

mrs a said...

Yeah, isn't that cool too. Odd I think in a way. I wouldn't think that...but then last year I wouldn't of thought I would be join a fan club - Go figure!

Deniro is good. I think he is so ugly but a good actor. My all time favorite is Awakenings, A Bronx Tale and Stanley and Iris. He surprised me as he is really good at comedy - Meet the Fockers. He pulls it off easy and comedy they say is the hardest to do because of timing. I would like to see BaeYongJoon do comedy as I know he is talented enough. That would be a challenge.

HeippieH said...

MrsA, have you seen BYJ's "comedy" type of show? I think I saw some, one is "SuperSunday", he was really funny and lovely, cute and kicking. Another I considered "comedy" was his "Six Steps to Separation". He was definitely good at playing funny, with his serious and shy side, playing comedy charaters made him darn cute.