Friday, July 28, 2006

Have We Really Loved? - Jaeho, A Man of Courage

Anyone know about Yukomaru san? A Japanese fan, more specifically, a Japanese HWRL maniac, who wrote 13 postings about HWRL and Jaeho on JOB. Here is one of the two that was translated into Korean then English. Think I read this from Quilt and then posted on KOB. Yukomaru chatted with me a bit on KOB about her 13 writings. Hopefully one day, or maybe it has already come true, that all of her 13 writings about HWRL are translated into English. I saved this one for myself, here repost it as a record. As you read thru, KOB ID "yesbut" translated it from Japanese to Korean thru a translator machine and Quilt ID "soil" translated it into English. (When can we have a reasonable translate machine from Japanese to English???) I am thankful for all these people who put their heart and blood translating these articles for sharing love.

Subject: JaeHo, a man of courage

Hi, guys!!!
Although I didn’t have a chance to watch yet,
when I happen to read this posting, it was so touching.
I tried to forget about this, but I couldn’t turn back on it.
I don’t know exactly why I couldn’t, either because of JaeHo, or because of her writing power?The original writer is Yukomaru-nim of JOB, And this was introduced in KOB around a week ago by yesbut-nim.
I am afraid if I could convey the original writing without too much distortion,
Nonetheless, JaeHo remains lingering inside me,
And I can’t ignore him….. Thus, I decide to gather courage again to retranslate in spite of all risks of distortion.
Probably, I wanna say something through her writing….
And one more thing, I wanna say to you is
I totally enjoyed the translation of this……

Original: Yukomaru, from JOB 3511, July 5, 2005
Translation into Korean (through automatic translation machine): yesbut
Translation into English: soil

Good morning, everyone, especially fans!!
Today, I want to be talktive again .
Last time I contemplated on JaeHo’s life that was full of pains not only in his heart but also on his face.
(yesbut: last time Ms. Yukomaru wrote a witty but deep,
insightful posting in which many people slapped on his face in turn, and I knew it cos I am her fan and read all she wrote… ^^)
And then a lot of you replied, and among the comments
which made my mind warm,
there was one that particularly has remained in my heart, It was Asaake-nim’s comment:
If he had got hurt simply by having his face slapped,
he couldn’t have lived.
He must have been desperate to suppress his feelings.….
He should be numb to whatever misunderstanding people around him might have.
If I only read through the comments, I might simply have thought
‘Hm, surely it is.’. But I couldn’t help thinking abou
this life before the drama started to depict it. Yes. his struggle began much earlier than in the opening scene offish market auction, where he looked so dignified with cap on
which the fiqure 205 is written on.
JaeHo must have been sensitive to get easily hurt,
But he had to get through rocky and bitter experiences
from his adolescent period to the early young days.
Looking back on JaeHo from that angle,
I felt tears welling up from my eyes, with the shivers down my spine,
when realizing how much courageous he was.
Thus, today I want to talk about how I felt on his courage. I guess it will be not very interesting, so that I try to write not so long posting as usual.

☆☆☆If you love , and JaeHo,
No wonder you should realize that he is courageous JaeHo….who doesn’t give in to hardship one after another ordinary people couldn’t stand .
JaeHo…who tried his best for his love with SinHyung,
but had to decide to part with her as if to sever his soul from himself
just for the people around him…
JaeHo…who was sentenced to a time-limited life, but didn’t give up,
but rather encourage the people around him,
and try to complete his love, putting up with intensive physical pain…
JaeHo, he is courageous! He is wonderful!!
I, being an Azumma, almost burst into tears.
But his courage didn’t stop there.
I came to think deeply about
how much courage it took him when he decided to love SinHyung.
The fact that JaeHo was originally a person who had warm heart and tender, sensitive susceptibility to get easily hurt. has been revealing as the episodes of the drama went on.
With a trauma that he was deserted by his mother.
he must have had to endure misunderstanding, discrimination. or sometimes, even violence by the people near him, on coping with difficulties in reality to earn for living for his sister and him, I suppose.
His tears might already dry up,
his heart might get hurt over and over again
even before the last scar didn’t have healed up yet,
and through all those his heart might be callus, distorted and changed.
Now the 27 year-old young man who could hide his mind burned with
ambition to marry a girl of a rich family
by driving a sports car.
In the fish market, he who got a knack of how to carry a straw bag with crabbs on his back like a veteran became an able broker.
This young man, JaeHo, met SinHyung and had a hunch about loving her.
Oh, no, he trembled in fear of hunch that he would love her
To the ordinary people like me who didn’t get through hardshipsit would be easy to say“JaeHo-ya, who you need is SinHyung.
Just give up a girl of a rich family. You could do your best to get SinHyung”
But to JaeHo it must be a very difficult decision, almost a fear, mustn’t it?
Human beings seem to be a creature who defend themselves responsively by gradually having their mind or body paralyzed when the pain that they cope with last too strong or too long.
JaeHo seemed to had reached to his conclusion:“I will be rich,” “I won’t be naïve enough to get hurt again,”“I won’t let it happen to make me cry.”
To love SinHyung meant to withdraw all his view of life, and
to get back to the original tender mind that easily gets hurt, and the tearful himself.
I could understand how scared he was at that moment.
That fear might be beyond imagination of people who can’t understand such situation. In episode 17, GilJin called out JaeHo and notified JaeHo that he parted with SinHyung.
In that scene, JaeHo asked GilJin in return,“Do you think that it was easy that I decided to throw away all my way of life I have kept unill now just because of only one person,
professor Lee?” GilJin answered,“No, I don’t think it was easy. It is love that isn’t easy. Thus, go to ShinHyung.”
How anxiously I had wanted to see JaeHo and SinHyung together!!
But, when I heard this line of GilJin, I couldn’t help avoiding a sense of incompatibility.
It’s difficult to explain why, but I felt that GilJin with a good background could never understand what JaeHo’s real fear was. And I couldn’t blame GilJin for that.
What was not easy to JaeHo was not only “love isn’t easy.”
Anyhow, JaeHo made up his mind, with courage, to love SinHyung, and to recover himself again, no matter how difficult it would be,
He might know how much pain and suffering in their hearts and lives would follow, though.
He might know that the one who he loved also would get involved in the midst of his pain, and he should prepare for protecting her with his whole body to get all the wounds of the two by himself.
He threw away a molphin that could have his pain paralyzed, and prepared for an operation for the recovery of himself with no help of pain-killer.
JaeHo determined not to disclose or complain, no matter what disaster would happen to him In the middle of loving SinHyung, and to endure all the burdens by himself.

Although he didn’t recognize it himself, such an attitude proves his preparedness that is mentioned above, doesn’t it?
How about it? Don’t you agree that JaeHo who decided to love SinHyung
was an overwhelmingly courageous man???
But JaeHo had to, for inevitable reasons that he couldn’t do anything about it,
let go of SinHyung’s love that he chose courageously to save his soul,
keeping all wounds silently left in his heart and body
that he got from the battle for love. He tried to close his heart again to start a new life.
But his heart that already recovered his original sensitive susceptibility
and an attribute that easily get hurt couldn’t become callous again.

JaeHo, who was in unbearable pain caused by losing SinHyung…….

Again, JaeHo came to take the ultimate courage.
He decided to live with SinHyung till the last day of his life.
In the episode 41,his doctor, JeongYoon, said to HyunSoo about JaeHo and SinHyung
who decided marriage, “I don’t think that the two decided on their marriage for fun,
It was a decision that required a lot of courage from both of them.”

All of us know about what SinHyung’s courage was,
because she made up her mind to dedicate all herself to JaeHo,
in spite of her knowing that the two would never live together long.

And then, what was JaeHo’s courage?
I think that he is courageous enough not to be afraid of having himself hurt
and having even his beloved one hurt as well.
He perfectly knew that SinHyung should live in bitter wailing
after he would leave.
No doubt, it would be regretful for him to leave her behind.
Nonetheless, not being afraid of being in pain, and giving her pain,
he tried to hold the most precious thing in his life tight in his arms,
relying on it at the same time.
Coping with a terror, he tried to grasp it and urged her to do so, too. It was the courage of JaeHo, I suppose.

JaeHo knew what terror he should get over to take the courage . Then he determined firmly to marry her.

Even when the time-limited life sentence on JaeHo shook ShinHyung,
JaeHo could supported her properly without being weak.
While I am writing this, I am so sure of it deep down.
He got through all cruel times since being orphaned with his sister.
Having lost his lover and then his health, he had his day of life left for short days,
and got over the ultimate terror in the desperate situation to stand up again.
Can you imagine more courageous man than him???

I really tried to shorten my writing, but failed again,
Ah~~~Ah, Thanks a lot, and I appreciate your reading all this long story……

I, soil, briefly introduce what yesbut-nim said here:
she is a fan of Yukomaru. who, as a maniac of ,writes a profound and sharp analysis about it almost like a critic.
It is said that Yukomaru watched the drama tens of times.
And yesbut said that because she doesn’t know Japanese, she had to put it into Korean based on the automatic translation machine, then the part she couldn’t understand clearly, she had to skip.

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