Thursday, September 14, 2006

From light-reading to heavy-readig

A lightreading turned into a "soul-searching" type of discussion. Don't take me wrong, I am not losing faith or leaving the bae-land, just the priorities are shuffled around lately. The comment Jaime made in the previous posting echoed in my heart for quite a long time, especially these words " We may see a small touch of kindness once in a while in our everyday life. But where can you find such an abundant amount of warmth, kindness and beauty concentrated in a fan circle within such a short timeframe?? Only in the BYJ family!! ". This is so well said and so true, Jaime!!! This is why we are here, I took it as a gift, and good Lord, how can I give up on this gift?!

I too saw great change in the way I deal with people in my life after falling into this bae-land. I can see myself having a bigger heart and strength dealing with difficult situation and difficult people in my life, with BYJ backed me up as a role model. It may sound funny that people in my age still talk about role model, but the fact is we all do. My heart feel much more joyful and peaceful after knowing him and learning to apply the attitude I learned from him toward the situations in my daily life.

Since Jaime can't resist to shed her light on her BYJ journey, I can't resist to repost it here. Jaime, please keep writing, have you finished you Manet V? Send to me when you are done, please!

I love you all!


Dear h,

I'm so glad you pointed me back to Mrs A's debut and your 'Soul Be It' post. This time I really digested the words slowly and thought about what you ladies are trying to convey. (Gosh h, you really should write more. I really like your amusing writing and unique perspective! (Thank you Jaime!)) You're so right, we really use our souls to communicate, regardless of our differences and backgrounds. Along this Bae journey, we discover about BYJ, the fans, each other and ultimately, OURSELVES!

This discovery signifies a new light, a new meaning in my life. I've always been someone's daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, wife and mother; doing things to please other people and make sure that their needs are taken care of. Suddenly this man comes along waking me up, making me realize our hearts and minds have to be fulfilled first before our lives can blossom.

These few months I have been busily absorbing so much knowledge, not just on the actor BYJ, but on the beauty of life and human. The physical beauty of Korean everything and then expanded to Asia and the world - scenaries, people, culture, music and art. The beauty of human psychology and capability are displayed through fans' work and their interaction. We may see a small touch of kindness once in a while in our everyday life. But where can you find such an abundant amount of warmth, kindness and beauty concentrated in a fan circle within such a short timeframe?? Only in the BYJ family!! To me, this year seems like another lifetime, another new lease in life!

We are on the same wavelength, h. You're right, 'Nothing will last'! The other day, my sister just said to me casually that 'this is just a phase for me.' One day, BYJ will retire and we will no longer see him in the limelight. There will be no more news of him, fans' anticipation will die down. She may be right, this fanfare will not go on forever, but I know it's definitely not a PHASE for me. It's a turning point in my life!
He makes me rediscover passion like art, pure hearts, innocence, and the hidden side of humour and writing. I have the confidence now to deal with difficult people out there and face any challenge - by looking up to BYJ as a role model (God knows he has to face media scrutiny and business obstacles everyday).

Like you, I know from this point on, I may not be as engulfed by throwing myself into his life and his work as before (but it's so hard to tear my eyes away from his gorgeous face). I am slowly trying to strike a balance between my family, my life and my fantasy. Maybe this is a natural evolvement for a typical BYJ fan?

As you know, this journey will definitely not last without you and other beautiful Bae sisters. I enjoy so much of our mutual respect and support of each other. Sorry for such a long and tedious comment, just can't resist.

love ..... Jaime

Sunday, September 10, 2006 12:02:06 AM


bb said...

hey H,
that was a very nice piece of writing. really? you gals really feel that knowing wuri yong joon and his ways and his outlook and approach in life has changed you? guess whether or not this BYJ-infatuation phase eventually goes away or not, we know something very good has come out of it.

thanks for sharing :) both of you, H & jaime.


HeippieH said...

Hi bb, really? really?? did he really changed our lives? it is a fact that we can not deny, and it just happened without our preparation. we realized this "after the fact". we unintentionally fell into this baeland, attracted not only by wyj, but also by the bae-family, we can not deny that he has the look, but i think his personality and heart add the light of beauty onto his body and also into our eyes. Recently I started to feel a sense of relief in my heart, which is another fact that I can not deny and realized after the fact, it is probably that I entered another "phase" of this journey, the balance seemed to be reached, not "addicted" but still "attacted". It feels good.

bb said...

you know, looking at him after all this time, i'm beginning to believe 相由心生...

i don't know how else to explain how come this man looks better and better each time, despite the passage of time. surely he must be beautiful inside that's why it's showing on the outside :)

and yes, all of us fans go through phases. for me, the feverish stage of trying to get my hands on every piece of news and info i can find is long over. gone are the days i would find myself thinking of him for no good reason in the middle of the day, and gone are the days i would smile when i spot a picture of him. now, he's just in a comfortable little corner in my heart. all the time there, always in that special corner that i've somehow set aside for him. he's just someone i look out for, i care for from a distance now. i'm happy if he is. and i try to find the good qualities in him so that i can work on improving myself. of all the good qualities this special man possesses, what i admire most is his composure and also how he doesn't seem to fight the world. instead, he works on improving himself and bettering the environment he lives in and also trying to be good to the people who matter to him.

jaime said...

hi h and bb,

I'm surprised at my comment, no I stand correct, I'm surprised at HOW LONG my comment was! I am a bit embarassed cause I thought this is too personal after I submitted the comment and now it's a post!

I like that chinese saying that bb wrote. He for sure looks like the kindest, gentlest, most considerate man around. For the fans, I can even see the smiling eyes, glowing face, sweetest smile on all of you. That again has to come from your hearts. No facial or beauty creams can do such magic!

I admire you h and bb that you can be so sensible in managing your BYJ thoughts. I am still so immersed in his everything, but I am really trying to discipline myself better in the heart and mind departments.

Sorry h, am starting on Manet V, hopefully next week?

HeippieH said...

Hi bb,

相由心生... I totally agree with you. He is beautiful inside and out! And you said it so right, that "he doesn't seem to fight the world ...", I enjoy reading your perspective. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, especially the "fan phase" of yours. I can totally see myself in it, instead, those days are not completely gone, I still think of him at random times during the day, smile at his pictures and vods and search for his news. You are still doing these as well, just not as intense as before, right? he is a special icon, who deserves a special space in our hearts. Keeping him in our hearts does more good to us than to him I guess.


HeippieH said...

Dear Jaime,

No pressure on Manet series. I am just anxious to see it. As for controlling and managing my BYJ thoughts, I don't think I am able to manage them. They come and go natually, I just observe it. As bb said, he will remain a special corner in my heart, always.