A lightreading turned into a "soul-searching" type of discussion. Don't take me wrong, I am not losing faith or leaving the bae-land, just the priorities are shuffled around lately. The comment Jaime made in the previous posting echoed in my heart for quite a long time, especially these words " We may see a small touch of kindness once in a while in our everyday life. But where can you find such an abundant amount of warmth, kindness and beauty concentrated in a fan circle within such a short timeframe?? Only in the BYJ family!! ". This is so well said and so true, Jaime!!! This is why we are here, I took it as a gift, and good Lord, how can I give up on this gift?!
I too saw great change in the way I deal with people in my life after falling into this bae-land. I can see myself having a bigger heart and strength dealing with difficult situation and difficult people in my life, with BYJ backed me up as a role model. It may sound funny that people in my age still talk about role model, but the fact is we all do. My heart feel much more joyful and peaceful after knowing him and learning to apply the attitude I learned from him toward the situations in my daily life.
Since Jaime can't resist to shed her light on her BYJ journey, I can't resist to repost it here. Jaime, please keep writing, have you finished you Manet V? Send to me when you are done, please!
I love you all!
I'm so glad you pointed me back to Mrs A's debut and your 'Soul Be It' post. This time I really digested the words slowly and thought about what you ladies are trying to convey. (Gosh h, you really should write more. I really like your amusing writing and unique perspective! (Thank you Jaime!)) You're so right, we really use our souls to communicate, regardless of our differences and backgrounds. Along this Bae journey, we discover about BYJ, the fans, each other and ultimately, OURSELVES!
This discovery signifies a new light, a new meaning in my life. I've always been someone's daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, wife and mother; doing things to please other people and make sure that their needs are taken care of. Suddenly this man comes along waking me up, making me realize our hearts and minds have to be fulfilled first before our lives can blossom.
These few months I have been busily absorbing so much knowledge, not just on the actor BYJ, but on the beauty of life and human. The physical beauty of Korean everything and then expanded to Asia and the world - scenaries, people, culture, music and art. The beauty of human psychology and capability are displayed through fans' work and their interaction. We may see a small touch of kindness once in a while in our everyday life. But where can you find such an abundant amount of warmth, kindness and beauty concentrated in a fan circle within such a short timeframe?? Only in the BYJ family!! To me, this year seems like another lifetime, another new lease in life!
We are on the same wavelength, h. You're right, 'Nothing will last'! The other day, my sister just said to me casually that 'this is just a phase for me.' One day, BYJ will retire and we will no longer see him in the limelight. There will be no more news of him, fans' anticipation will die down. She may be right, this fanfare will not go on forever, but I know it's definitely not a PHASE for me. It's a turning point in my life!
He makes me rediscover passion like art, pure hearts, innocence, and the hidden side of humour and writing. I have the confidence now to deal with difficult people out there and face any challenge - by looking up to BYJ as a role model (God knows he has to face media scrutiny and business obstacles everyday).
Like you, I know from this point on, I may not be as engulfed by throwing myself into his life and his work as before (but it's so hard to tear my eyes away from his gorgeous face). I am slowly trying to strike a balance between my family, my life and my fantasy. Maybe this is a natural evolvement for a typical BYJ fan?
As you know, this journey will definitely not last without you and other beautiful Bae sisters. I enjoy so much of our mutual respect and support of each other. Sorry for such a long and tedious comment, just can't resist.
love ..... Jaime